How Foo ruined the Christmas Pageant!
by thomasfan101
Summary: Christmastime is here again and Miriam's excited. She's thrown together a Christmas play and everyone's invited. It's a show based on the Grinch with lead roll played by Foo. He acts on stage to steal Christmas and might steal the show too. But things go wrong when this young lad paints Green over fur of Orange. So get ready for a jolly good time as you know what? I'm done rhyming.
1. Inspiration for the Show

It was Christmastime in Littlebark Grove and everyone was excited. Kratz was planning on getting Kathy a new binder to keep her favorite leaves in, Claire was baking cookies with her Mom (the nice one, not the oppressive one) and Miriam was reading How the Grinch stole Christmas to Michelle before putting her down for her nap.

"He brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!" read Miriam as Michelle yawned. "And he, he himself, The Grinch carved the roast beast!"

Miriam then closed the book and Michelle fell asleep. As she tucked her in, Miriam looked at Michelle, then she looked at the book cover. She had found memories of her mother reading the book to her when she was a little girl and she remembered reading it to Harvey when he was a little and then to the twins on their first Christmas with the Beaks' and the whole family loved the cartoon version (they all thought the Jim Carrey version was just okay). Memories of the story and her childhood came back to her and she smiled. Just then, her watch beeped (not too loudly though, the baby was still asleep) and she realized she had to get to work.

Later at the library, Miriam was stacking the shelves and awaiting a delivery of new books when Bartleburt floated by. "Merry Christmas, Bartleburt!" said Miriam. But Bartleburt was worried. "I'm not really having a very Merry Christmas right now Miriam, I only have 2 days left to come up with an idea for this year's Christmas Pageant or the council will cut our budget for the next 2 months."

Then she got an idea. A crazy idea. Miriam got a wonderfully crazy idea.

"Bartleburt," she said, "I think I might have an idea. For this year's Pageant, why don't we do How the Grinch stole Christmas?"

Bartleburt thought about it. "Can you have it ready by the 15th?" It was at this moment that Miriam knew that she was going to create something wonderful. At least, that's what she thought.

That evening after dinner, Miriam went into the living room and started painting a backdrop when Harvey came into the room. "Hey Mom, what are you painting?" he asked. "Harvey, you're gonna love this." Miriam said excitedly. "For this year's Christmas Pageant, we're doing How the Grinch stole Christmas!"

"No way!" exclaimed Harvey. "I love that book! Who's going to be in it?"

"Well, I'm thinking I'll be the narrator but other than that, I haven't cast anyone yet."

Just then, Michelle crawled up to the sofa, pulled a yellow blanket off and it landed on her head, giving the impression of her having yellow hair. Miriam saw this and said "Although, I think we've just found our Cindy-Lou."

Then Harvey thought of something. "You know who'd make a good Grinch? Foo. He already has the fur for it."

At that moment, Foo came into the room with a glass of white liquid. "Hey guys, is it cool if I drink this milk?"

"That's white paint."

"So, it's cool, right?" said Foo who had already drank some while Harvey was talking just then. Miriam then decided that she'd have to hold auditions as soon as possible.


	2. Audition Process

The Next day, Miriam had finished painting a backdrop and put up a sign for auditions in the library (it was 9am on a Saturday so not many people were at the library and therefore would not be too disturbed by the auditions). Harvey was telling as many friends as he could about the audition and the twins were curious.

"What's this all about again?" asked Fee.

"My Mom's putting on a stage show version of How the Grinch stole Christmas and we're holding auditions."

Fee thought about it for a minute. "Oh, is that the book where that green guy robs everyone and gets away with it?"

"He had a change of heart and gave their stuff back." said Harvey.

"Yeah, so did I that one time but I still got punched in the face for it." retorted Fee, thinking back to when she stole some of Princess's undeserved trophies. Then she thought of something. "You know who'd make a good Grinch? Foo. You just gotta undress him and paint him green and he'd be perfect for the role."

Harvey wasn't so sure. "Well, I was thinking the same thing last night but I'm not sure how he'd go memorizing his lines." he responded, watching Foo lick a tree.

But Fee had a solution in mind. Harvey had a copy of the book on him so she swiped it from him and handed it to Foo and told him "Read this."

Foo looked at the book and flipped through some of the pages for a full minute before saying "Wait, how do you read again?"

"Well, if you're interested," Harvey told them, "Auditions will be held at the library in half an hour."

Later at the library, some people were already showing up to audition. Miriam had started painting another backdrop but people were already lining up for the audition and she was running out of time. Piri Piri poked her head behind the curtain.

"Is everything alright Mrs. Beaks?" she asked.

Miriam turned and looked at her. "Oh Piri Piri, could you let the others in line know that I might have to postpone auditions for another hour? I have to finish this backdrop."

Piri Piri being the naturally born artist she was, offered to finish the backdrop while Miriam went through the auditions. Miriam hesitated but she hadn't had her morning coffee yet so she accepted her offer, got a cup of coffee from the machine and sat down to see the auditions.

The first one to audition was Kratz, he tried out for the Grinch but he didn't seem intimidating enough. Moff and Doctor Roberts both showed up hoping to be the singer of "You're a mean one Mr. Grinch" which led to them getting in a fight. In order to avoid it becoming physical, Miriam decided to let them take turns singing with each verse. Claire auditioned to be the keyboard player (not by choice, her Mom was making her do it) and landed the roll on the spot (since no one else there could play piano). Fee became a stagehand, Harvey was the executive producer and Michelle landed the role of Cindy-Lou Who (with Claire dubbing over her).

Soon, it came down to Foo and Princess for the lead role. Princess wore a green fur coat and boots while Foo actually went the full mile by dropping trou and spraying himself completely with green hair coloring. Here's how their auditions went down.

FOO:

" _I must stop this whole thing! Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!" I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But…...line?"_

"How." whispered Harvey from backstage.

" _HOW!"_

PRINCESS:

" _OMG, how dare you guys have fun without me, I'm gonna steal all your stuff while you losers are asleep!"_

It was a hard decision for Miriam. On one hand, Foo couldn't remember most of his lines unless he had the book in front of him but on the other hand, Princess never even bothered to read the script and only showed up to the audition for the attention, expecting to be given the role on the spot. …...Actually, it wasn't a very hard decision at all, she made up her mind and gave the role to…

"Princess," said Doctor Roberts, interrupting Miriam's train of thought, "Congratulations, you've got the leading role!"

"Of course I do!" said Princess, "I'm the best one here!" and she attempted a back-flip (and I use the word 'attempted' very lightly).

Miriam was outraged by this but she didn't want to make a scene and Doctor Roberts was a sponsor for the show so she just let it happen. Then, she looked over at Foo and noticed how upset he was. Fee was comforting him while glaring at Princess. Miriam felt bad for Foo so she walked over to him.

"Sorry you didn't get the part." she comforted. "Tell you what? I'll make you Princess's understudy. If she can't perform on the night, the part will go to you." This made Foo feel a little better.

"Got it." said Fee. "I'll sabotage her tomorrow."

"No!" argued Miriam. "We shouldn't sabotage any member of the cast for our own gain!"

"You sure?" asked Fee.

Miriam thought about it for a few seconds (keeping in mind this was Princess they were talking about) until she finally said "Yes, I'm sure."

"Backdrop's finished Mrs. Beaks." called Piri Piri from behind the curtain.

Miriam was impressed that she'd already finished the backdrop. That was until she looked behind the curtain and saw that she'd done TWO backdrops instead of just the one.

"Hey Piri," suggested Miriam, "How would you like to be the lead backdrop and prop designer for the show?"

Upon hearing this, Piri Piri was so happy and excited that she almost passed out (she didn't though, instead she immediately set to work on building the Grinch's sled).


	3. Somewhat last minute change

With a cast and crew chosen, rehearsals for the show started later that day. Miriam knew they had a lot of work to do before the show on the weekend so she set straight to work on directing while Piri Piri made the props and costumes (using Fee as a model).

Miriam read from the book "So he called his dog Max, then he took some red thread and he tied a big horn to the top of his head." and Kratz walked on stage with a dog collar on "Bow wow." he said. And Princess did nothing.

"Uh, Princess?" Miriam explained. "That's your cue to tie the horn to Kratz's head."

"Uh, I don't really feel like it right now." said Princess, being as much help as she usually was.

Miriam was slowly starting to feel fed up.

Meanwhile, Piri Piri was sewing the Grinch's Santa outfit while Fee was sitting in the corner, grumbling.

"This is a load of Bull Honkey!" she complained. "Foo should have gotten the lead. Or maybe Kratz. Basically anyone but Princess is what I'm saying here!"

"I know how he feels." said Piri Piri.

"Oh, you've been in his situation before?" asked Fee.

"No, I mean I can literally feel his aura." said Piri. "He's upset that he didn't get picked but is happy to be here anyway." Fee was a little confused and kinda creeped out that Piri Piri could feel other people's ari-whatevers but she's known Piri for a while and had come to except this so she just said "Kay."

"Okay, now could you come over here for a bit?" called Piri. "I just finished the Santa coat and I need you to try it on."

"Okay." sighed Fee "But make it quick, I have an attention hog to take care of."

Rooter was standing near by and heard this but decided to confront her about it after the show.

Over the next 3 days, Fee tried many tricks to get Princess booted from the show. First, she tried hiding her scripts, but that didn't work since Princess never read them anyway. Then, she tried spreading rumors that Princess cheats at every contest and raffle held in the town but everyone already knew that. She even tried asking her politely to quit the show (which was probably the hardest) but no matter what she tried, Princess was still on the cast list. Fee was beginning to feel like giving up but even though she didn't know it yet, things would start to look up.

Foo was sitting in one of the audience seats, watching Miriam set up the next scene for rehearsal and saw Princess walk onto the set with the Santa coat on. Oh, how he wished that was him, he even learned how to read just to be in the show but that was a useless talent now (at least that's what he thought at the moment). Just then, Michelle crawled up with a bagel that she somehow got a hold of. Foo looked at Michelle and said "Oh hey Michelle." and sighed looking back at the stage.

Michelle was new to this whole 'caring for others' thing (mostly because she was 1) but she could tell that Foo was upset (despite the fact that she was 1) so she offered him her bagel.

"Thanks Michelle." said Foo and after taking a bite from the bagel, he suddenly felt a little better.

He didn't even question where she got the bagel from.

It was the second-to-last rehearsal before the big night and everyone was excited. Piri Piri had just finished the fireplace prop, Claire went through the sheet music a third time and Kratz was starting to think he had fleas.

Everything was going well until Princess showed up.

"Let's get one thing straight!" Princess commanded. "I need a bagel! All the bagels! If I don't get a bagel, you got no show!"

"I'm sorry Princess but we're all out of bagels." said Harvey. "If you like, I can go to Lucas' general store and get some more."

But Princess chose to stop listening after 'we're all out of bagels' and was to mad to hear the rest.

"ARRG, I can't believe you expect me to act without bagels, I like can not work under these conditions!"

"But Princess, it's only a five minute walk, I can be there and back in no time and we'll have more bagels." Harvey added.

"Oh, and that will magically fix everything, will it?" argued Princess.

"Well yeah, it should." replied Harvey.

But Princess was having none of it. (I mean, she never used common sense before, why start now?)

"That's it! This is the first and last straw! I quit! Good luck finding someone better than me!" and she stormed off.

"I'll see you at home Princess." called Doctor Roberts. "Daddy's going to stay in the play to try and kickstart his music career."

Miriam pretended to be sad but secretly, she was planning on doing a little victory dance later on when no one's looking. She then looked over at Foo. He didn't know how to respond so Fee just grabbed the coat Piri made, handed it to Foo and said "Congratulations, Mr. Grinch."


	4. The Night of the Show!

With the show being on the following night, Foo now had to cram 3 days worth of rehearsal into a day an a half. He went through the lines with Harvey and Fee and Tara supplied the green hairspray but she underestimated how much he'd need (but we'll get more into that a little later).

It was the final dress rehearsal and everything was going alright until after the first act when Foo discovered something.

"I'm out of hairspray!" he cried.

Miriam was worried. Tara had just left to spend the holiday with her extended family (the ones who didn't eat each other) so she couldn't get anymore hairspray until January and the show was tonight. She looked at Piri Piri and wondered if that was her natural hair color when Fee spoke up.

"I think I have an idea! Give me 5 or 20 minutes, I just gotta go to the store."

"5 or 20?" asked Miriam.

"I don't have a very good concept of time, but wait here!" and she was off.

She went to Randl's and looked around but she couldn't find any hairspray so she decided to ask Randl.

"Hey Dingus, you got any green hairspray?" she asked. "And be quick, I'm in a hurry."

"The closet I have is this green paint." he said, pulling up the can and putting it on the table. "Take it or leave it."

Fee didn't have time to argue so she gave Randl an I.O.U., grabbed the can and ran back to the library (well, as fast as one can run carrying a full can of paint). She was in such a hurry that she didn't read the warning label on the can that said "Use in well ventilated areas as toxic fumes may irritate".

It was finally time for the show. People were lining up to find there seats, Randl was selling concessions (not approved by the library), Claire was breathing into a paper bag and Harvey and Fee were helping Foo go through his lines one last time. Soon the room lights dimmed, the stage lights came on and Claire (having overcome her stage fright) started playing an instrumental version of "Welcome Christmas" on her keyboard. It was time for the show to begin.

Fee helped Foo with the bodypaint and Foo walked onto stage with a grumpy look on his face (in reality, he was very excited but the script called for him to be grumpy) and was doing pretty well right up until after Miriam (sitting on the side of the stage dressed as an elf, reading from the book) had finished explaining why The Grinch hated Christmas.

"And the more the Grinch thought of this Who-Christmas-Sing, the more the Grinch thought ….. (clears throat) ….. I said the more the Grinch thought…." Foo had forgotten his line. "What? Oh yeah! I must stop this whole thing! Why, for fifty three years I've put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! ….but in what way?"

And then Dade facepalmed.

As the show went on, things were going pretty good. Kratz no longer cared he was playing a dog, Moff and Doctor Roberts sang pretty well and as Claire's Mom saw her at the keyboard, she thought to herself "Eh, not bad." But things would soon get ugly as Foo needed the paint to be reapplied every time he went off-stage and he started to feel dizzy.

Then came the Cindy-Lou scene.

Foo felt too weak to lift up the cardboard Christmas tree so Piri Piri stood behind it and helped him lift it. Then on cue, Michelle crawled onto the stage wearing a pink dress and a blonde wig. "Santee Claus, why?" said Claire, dubbing over Michelle. "Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

And Miriam read from the book, "But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!" But Foo wasn't as slick as it took him almost 20 seconds to remember his line, and even then, he stumbled quite a bit.

"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santa Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side." Foo's stomach suddenly started to hurt a little but he struggled on.

"So, I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back…"

Then Foo immediately threw up everywhere and passed out.


	5. The Aftermath

The next morning, Foo awoke on the Beaks' couch wrapped in a blanket with a warm wet towel over his head. Miriam stood nearby with some soup and dry crackers. "Oh man, what happened last night?" he asked.

"You passed out during the show." said Miriam. "That paint you used was probably toxic."

"Does that mean I'm gonna die?" Foo asked. And as if on cue, Fee burst into the room panicking. "Foo's gonna die?! You never said he was gonna die! OH GOD, MY BROTHER'S GONNA DIE!"

"No one's dying." said Miriam. "You sure?" asked Fee. "Because he threw up a LOT. Well, okay not a lot but he still threw up."

Foo started to worry about the outcome of the play. "Did I ruin the show?" he asked.

"Well, a few people were turned off by what happened but we had an intermission, Harvey mopped up the stage and Fee put on your coat and hat and finished the show on your behalf. In the end, the audience loved it." As Miriam told Foo this, she chose not to mention that by that point, there were only 15 or 20 people left in the audience but Foo was smiling so that's all that matters.

So after some soup, bedrest and a nice hot bath (yeah that's right, he willingly took a bath, that's how sick he was) Foo started to feel much better. Unfortunately, the library did lose the theater budget for the first half of the next year but it was okay because it gave Miriam and Piri Piri more time to plan the next show (one that doesn't require Foo to wear bodypaint).

Foo was sitting in the library reading another book. After the play, he slowly started to develop an interest in literature. "Hey Foo, what're you reading?" asked Harvey. "It's this great book about these three brothers who decide to live on their own. But there's a wolf that wants to eat them." It didn't take Harvey very long to know what book he was talking about. "Do these brothers happen to be pigs?" he inquired. "Yeah, have you read this one before?" said Foo. "One of them's kinda dumb though. Who would ever build their house out of straw? Even I think that's stupid. That stick house is cool though." Harvey just chuckled to himself. Foo was well on the way to being a regular library patron (as in, he'd actually read the books instead of just showing up to take naps and make stupid noises, like he had done up until then).

Christmas Day came and went. Harvey got a train set, Fee got a pair of shades, Foo got some new pants and Michelle got a toy drum. New Years came and went. Fee's resolution was to go the whole year without drawing on Dade's face while he was asleep (she managed to last three days, way longer than anyone thought) and Foo's resolution was to get into another play in some way, shape or form and somehow, I have a feeling he just might. What do you think?

IT'S ALMOST OVER!

One day, Rooter saw Fee eating a worm and said "Hey, what was it you called Princess during the Christmas show?"

"I dunno man, that was like a month ago." said Fee, still looking for a fatter worm.

"You called her an attention hog, which is kinda offensive to my people!" Rooter was cross but still reasonable. "But since I'm a nice guy, I'll give you a chance to apologize."

"Dude, that wasn't only last month, it was last year. And also, I didn't mean anything by it. Get over it!" and Fee gulped down another worm.

At this point, Rooter had lost patience. "That's it, I challenge you to a fight! Put up your dukes!"

Without much effort, Fee grabbed one of Rooter's arms, flipped him and went back to digging in the dirt.

"You know what?" said Rooter at last, "Let's just put this behind us."

NOW, IT'S OVER!

(sorry this took so long)


End file.
